Anxiety is one of the most common things I hear about in clinic, especially from women in perimenopause and beyond.

Sometimes it sounds like this:

“I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“I’ve always coped before, but now everything feels too much.”

“I wake up anxious for no obvious reason.”

“I feel like I’m constantly on edge.”

“I’m irritated by everything and then I feel guilty afterwards.”

And, of course, there is also that very specific internal rage that makes you want to divorce your husband for one day a month. Not forever. Just for the day.

If this sounds familiar, you are not imagining it and you are definitely not alone. Anxiety, overwhelm, mood changes, irritability, sleep disruption and changes in confidence are all commonly recognised symptoms during perimenopause and menopause.

But I think it helps to look at this in two ways.

1. The hormone and nervous system bit

During perimenopause, hormones do not simply decline quietly and neatly. They fluctuate.

Oestrogen and progesterone both have an influence on mood, sleep, stress response and how steady we feel in ourselves. When these hormones begin shifting, the nervous system can become more sensitive and reactive.

This is why you might notice that your tolerance feels lower, your reactions feel stronger, your thoughts race more easily, your sleep changes, or things you used to manage suddenly feel much more overwhelming.

It does not mean you have suddenly become an anxious person.

It may mean your body is trying to adapt to a lot of internal change.

And when sleep is affected too, everything can feel more intense. A poor night’s sleep can make the next day feel harder, your emotions feel closer to the surface, and your ability to cope feel much thinner.

This is often where women start to worry that something is “wrong” with them, when actually their body may be moving through a very real physiological transition.

2. The deeper body bit

There is also another layer.

Perimenopause often arrives after years of holding everything together.

Work, children, relationships, family responsibilities, grief, other people’s needs, the mental load, and all the times you have said “I’m fine” when you absolutely were not fine.

For years, many women have learned to keep going. To push through. To manage. To be reliable. To not make too much fuss. To carry things quietly.

Then, suddenly, the body seems to stop playing along.

Your patience may feel thinner. Your capacity may feel lower. Your needs may feel louder. Your body may become much less willing to be ignored.

This can feel really unsettling, especially if you are used to coping, managing, keeping the peace and carrying on.

But I do not believe this means you are falling apart.

Often, it means the way you have been coping is no longer supporting you in the same way.

The body starts asking for something different.

More care.

More honesty.

More rest.

More support.

Better boundaries.

A different relationship with yourself.

Why it can feel so overwhelming

The difficult thing about perimenopause anxiety is that it rarely feels like one simple thing.

It can feel physical, emotional, hormonal and deeply personal all at once.

You might feel anxious because your hormones are fluctuating. You might feel anxious because you are not sleeping properly. You might feel anxious because your nervous system is overloaded. You might also feel anxious because long-ignored needs, grief, anger or resentment are beginning to come closer to the surface.

This is why I do not think anxiety in perimenopause should be dismissed as “just hormones.”

But I also do not think we should ignore the hormonal piece either.

Both can be true.

Your body is changing, and your life may also be asking you to change with it.

What I see in clinic

I see this every week in my sessions. Women come in saying they do not recognise themselves anymore.

Their body feels different. Their emotions feel different. Their sleep feels different. The way they have always coped no longer seems to work in the same way.

And this can be frightening, especially when no one has really prepared you for it.

But this stage does not have to be about losing yourself.

It can be about learning to understand yourself differently.

In my work, I support women through this transition using clinical reflexology, Reiki and nervous system support. The aim is not to force the body to calm down, or to pretend everything is fine, but to help you understand what your body may be showing you and create space for your system to settle.

Sometimes that starts with the body softening.

Sometimes it starts with sleep beginning to improve.

Sometimes it starts with simply feeling like you can breathe again.

And sometimes, it starts with being able to say, “Actually, I’m not fine, and I need something different now.”

Coming back to yourself

Perimenopause can feel like a very strange and unfamiliar time, but it can also become a turning point.

Not because it is always easy. It often is not.

But because it can bring your attention back to the parts of you that have been ignored, overruled or pushed to the bottom of the list for a long time.

Your anxiety may not be a sign that you are failing.

It may be a sign that your body is asking for a different level of care, honesty and support as it moves through this transition.

And this is where I support women: helping them understand what their body is trying to show them, settle their nervous system, and move through this stage feeling more steady, more supported, and more like themselves again.

If you are in Bideford, Barnstaple or the wider North Devon area and you feel like anxiety, overwhelm or perimenopause changes are affecting how you feel in yourself, you can begin with an Initial Session & Assessment. This gives us time to understand what is going on for you and what kind of support your body may need next.