One of the questions I hear more and more from women is, “Am I too young for perimenopause?” Usually followed by something like, “I thought menopause happened in your 50s.”
It is completely understandable, because that is what most of us grew up believing. We tend to think of menopause as hot flushes, periods stopping and being around 50. But perimenopause is the transition leading up to menopause, and for many women it starts several years earlier.
For a lot of women, changes begin somewhere in their 40s, although some notice symptoms in their late 30s or early 40s. There is no exact age and no one set way it begins. That is one of the reasons it can be so confusing.
I see so many women at this stage of life, and I am going through it myself too. What has become really clear to me is that no two experiences are the same. One woman might struggle mainly with sleep, another with anxiety, another with headaches, another with exhaustion or brain fog. Some women have obvious changes to their cycle and others just have this sense that something feels different.
Very often, what they say is simply, “I don’t feel like myself.”
That sentence comes up again and again.
What are the early signs of perimenopause?
There are lots of possible symptoms, and you absolutely do not need to have all of them. You might notice that your periods become heavier, lighter, closer together or less predictable. You may start waking in the night and struggling to get back to sleep. Anxiety can creep in where it was not really there before, or you may feel more emotionally reactive than usual.
Brain fog is another big one. Women often tell me they are forgetting words, losing their train of thought or feeling as though their mind is just not as sharp as it used to be. There can also be headaches, migraines, joint aches, night sweats, hot flushes, heart palpitations, changes in libido and a level of tiredness that does not seem to lift with rest.
What makes it difficult is that many of these symptoms can easily be put down to stress, being busy, getting older or just “not coping very well”.
That can leave women questioning themselves rather than recognising that their body may be moving into a different stage.
Why do I suddenly feel like I am not coping as well?
This is the part I think is really important.
A lot of women who come to me have spent years being the capable one. They work, manage the house, look after children, remember everything, support everyone else and keep going.
Then somewhere around this stage, that way of functioning does not seem to work in the same way anymore.
You may find that stress hits you harder. You need more space. You cannot tolerate being pulled in every direction. Things that you used to brush off now feel much more difficult to ignore.
For some women, that is frightening because it can feel like they are becoming less resilient.
I do not always see it that way.
Sometimes it feels as though the body is becoming less willing to absorb everything quietly.
Hormonal changes can affect sleep, mood, concentration and how we experience stress, but there is often more going on around that too. Relationships, work, emotional load, years of putting yourself last and old patterns of overdoing can all suddenly become much harder to carry.
That is why I do not think perimenopause should be reduced to a list of symptoms.
Your whole life matters.
What I often see in women who come to me
Most women do not come to me saying, “I need help with perimenopause.”
They come because they are exhausted, overwhelmed, not sleeping properly or feeling more anxious than they used to. Some feel emotionally drained. Some are suddenly questioning their relationships or the way they have been living. Some feel completely disconnected from themselves.
Often there are several things happening at once.
There may be hormonal changes, but there may also be stress, nervous system strain, poor sleep, emotional pressure and a long history of being the person who keeps everything going.
This is why I treat every woman individually.
I am not interested in fitting you into a standard menopause box.
I want to understand what is actually happening for you.
Everyone’s perimenopause is different
This really is one of the most important things to remember.
Your experience does not have to look like anyone else’s.
You might know someone who sailed through it and barely noticed. Someone else might have intense night sweats but feel emotionally fine. Another woman may have hardly any physical symptoms but suddenly struggle with anxiety, sleep or feeling completely unlike herself.
There is no correct way to experience perimenopause.
Your body, your history, your stress levels, your responsibilities and your life circumstances are all different.
It makes sense that your experience will be different too.
What can I do to help myself?
I would start by paying attention rather than immediately trying to fix everything.
Notice what has changed. Notice your sleep, your cycle, your mood, your energy, your anxiety and the way your body feels.
It can be really useful to track symptoms for a few months, just enough to start noticing patterns.
I would also look at the basics, but in a realistic way.
Are you eating regularly? Are you getting enough rest? Are you moving your body in a way that feels supportive? Are you giving yourself any genuine downtime, or are you technically sitting down while your mind is still racing through everything that needs to be done?
It is also worth asking what else is going on in your life.
What is draining you?
What are you tolerating because you always have?
Where are you constantly available to everyone else?
What are you carrying that perhaps you no longer have the capacity to carry in the same way?
I think this stage of life can bring a lot of those questions to the surface.
Where my work can fit in
A lot of women who find me during this stage begin with a Synergy Pattern Assessment.
That is not because I am trying to diagnose perimenopause. I am not.
It is because I want to understand the wider picture of what is happening for you physically, emotionally and energetically.
We look at what has changed, how you are sleeping, where stress is showing up, what patterns keep repeating and what your body may be asking for.
I combine conversation, clinical reflexology assessment, Reiki, energy work and pattern awareness depending on what is most useful for you.
For one woman, the next step might be more restorative support. For someone else, it may be understanding stress and emotional patterns more deeply. Another woman may simply need the space to stop and recognise how much she has been carrying.
There is no one formula.
That is very much how I work.
Maybe the question is not only “Is this perimenopause?”
Sometimes the bigger question is, “What do I need now?”
Your body may need something different at 42 than it did at 32.
Your nervous system may need something different.
Your relationships may need something different.
You may need something different.
And although perimenopause can be difficult, I also think it can become a point where women begin listening to themselves more honestly.
Not because every symptom is a gift. Some of it can be really hard.
But because it can bring into focus the things that have not been working for a long time.
When should I speak to my GP?
If you think you may be experiencing perimenopause, I would always encourage you to speak to your GP, especially if your symptoms are new, significant or affecting your day-to-day life.
If you are under 45 and experiencing symptoms, your GP may want to look at whether testing or further investigation is appropriate.
And if you have unusual bleeding, significant palpitations or any other symptoms that worry you, please do not simply assume they are hormonal. It is always worth getting checked.
The work I offer is complementary support. It can sit alongside medical care, but it does not replace it.
Sometimes the first step is simply allowing yourself to take what you are feeling seriously.
You do not need to wait until things become unbearable before you ask for support.