Why it can feel like you’re going backwards before you move forward

A lot of people start this work because they want to move forward. They want to move out of pain, out of long-standing patterns, and into feeling more like themselves again.

So it can feel unsettling when the opposite seems to happen at first.

Instead of feeling lighter straight away, you might notice more. Old emotions. Familiar patterns. Physical sensations that have been present for years but suddenly feel harder to ignore. It can feel like you’ve taken a few steps back just when you were hoping to move on.

This is where understanding the nervous system really matters.

When you’ve spent a long time coping, pushing through, or staying functional, the nervous system prioritises survival. It keeps things buried so you can keep going. That doesn’t mean those things aren’t there. It means there hasn’t been enough safety or capacity to bring them into awareness.

As safety begins to increase, the system doesn’t necessarily push you forward. It often looks back first. This isn’t to keep you stuck or pull you into the past, but because there is finally enough space to acknowledge what was put aside.

This is why nervous-system-led work can feel like three steps back and one step forward. What’s actually happening is that the system is reorganising itself. It’s beginning to integrate experiences that were previously managed through suppression or endurance.

That process can feel frustrating if progress is expected to look like constant relief or momentum. But increased awareness is not regression. It’s a sign that the system no longer needs to work as hard to keep things contained.

Awareness doesn’t mean everything now needs to be processed. It doesn’t mean you have to talk it all through or fix it immediately. It simply means your system is beginning to register what it has been holding for a long time.

Moving forward doesn’t always look like feeling better straight away. Sometimes it looks like understanding yourself more clearly. Sometimes it looks like recognising patterns you’ve outgrown. Sometimes it looks like noticing what your body has been managing quietly, without enough support.

In nervous-system-led work, going back is often part of moving forward in a more sustainable way. Not by reopening wounds, but by allowing what was never given space to be acknowledged and integrated.

Progress isn’t linear. It unfolds in layers, and learning to trust that process is often where meaningful change begins.