We walk around looking very much like adults.
We have adult responsibilities, adult jobs, adult worries and the lines on our faces to prove it. From the outside it looks as though the grown up part of us is firmly in charge. But is it really the adult you who is running the show? Or is it a much younger part of you that learned how to cope long before you had the language for any of this?

This is something I see so often. People honestly believe they are reacting from the present moment, when in reality it is the child inside them trying to stay safe in a world that no longer resembles the one they grew up in.

Every one of us carries an inner child.
This part formed from the atmosphere we grew up in, the tone of our home, the things that were said and the things that were never said. When that younger part didn’t receive enough safety, stability or emotional presence, it created its own ways to survive. Those patterns often follow us into adulthood without us realising.

The wounded child shows itself in subtle but powerful ways.
Feeling judged even when nobody is judging.
Needing reassurance before making a decision.
Overthinking something small until it becomes huge.
Avoiding boundaries because they feel dangerous.
Trying to keep everyone happy to avoid conflict.
Reacting quickly because something inside still expects criticism.
Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.
Keeping the peace, even when it costs your wellbeing.

These behaviours aren’t failures.
They are protective strategies from a time when you needed them.

Your adult self carries a very different energy.
It slows things down.
It responds rather than reacts.
It can say no without guilt.
It can hold a boundary without shaking.
It understands that someone else’s disappointment is not a threat.
It chooses what feels right, not what feels familiar.
It feels grounded, steady and capable.

Most people don’t know which part of them is leading. They might look entirely put together yet still feel anxious, overwhelmed or unsure. They may retreat in relationships, panic around money or doubt their abilities at work. In those moments the adult is not in charge. The younger version is.

This pattern shows up everywhere.
In relationships it becomes fear of rejection or not being enough.
With money it becomes scarcity and self doubt.
At work it becomes overgiving, perfectionism or bracing for criticism.
In healing it becomes impatience or the belief that you should be further along.

Healing can begin the moment you recognise which part of you is speaking.
Not through shame or judgement, but through awareness.
When you can say this is the child in me reacting rather than the adult, everything begins to shift. The younger part of you stops carrying the whole load. The adult self steps forward with clarity. Your nervous system softens because it no longer feels like it is in danger.

In my room, I create space to understand these patterns without feeling overwhelmed. Space to soothe the younger part of you that has been running the show. And space to reconnect with your adult self in a way that feels steady, capable and safe.

Your inner child has done more than enough.
Your adult self is ready to lead.
Your healing makes room for both.

inner child healing
adult self leadership
emotional patterns
self awareness
nervous system regulation
boundaries
self worth
healing journey