There is a pattern that appears again and again in my clinic, even when people come in for something that seems unrelated on the surface. It hides underneath stress, exhaustion, anxiety and the sense of being stretched to the edge. It sits inside the body in ways people often don’t have words for. Although it is rarely spoken aloud, it quietly shapes so much of who we become.

This pattern is the mother wound.

It is a taboo topic for many, partly because at the heart of it lies a deep shame. Shame for feeling hurt by someone we are meant to feel close to. Shame for not being able to make sense of mixed messages or emotional distance. Shame for still being affected by it as adults.

The mother wound can take many forms. Sometimes it comes from a narcissistic parent. Sometimes from emotional immaturity or a parent who never learned how to regulate themselves. It can look like controlling behaviours, manipulation, the golden child and scapegoat dynamic, or a parent who permanently cast themselves as the victim. However it appears, the impact is often the same.

Even though we grow into capable adults on the outside, inside there can still be a small child trying to be good enough to be loved. A child who learned to shrink, to anticipate moods, to please and to carry guilt that never belonged to them. That child grows into a woman who abandons her own needs and boundaries in order to stay safe. She becomes the helper, the fixer, the strong one.

Until one day she can’t.

This is often the moment she finds her way into my clinic. When someone lies back and finally lets their guard down, the surface symptoms begin to fade and what remains is the same core thread. It shows up as exhaustion, anxiety that never fully shifts, the sense of never feeling enough, the habit of over giving, the fear of being too much, the panic of being abandoned, the ache of never being chosen, the constant scanning for danger, the pressure to be the good girl, the shame of having needs and the guilt of taking up space.

It shows up in the body too. Tight chests. Holding in the throat. Tender adrenal reflex points. Solar plexus tension. Feet that tell a story of someone who has been carrying their own emotional weight for years. I see it in ways people often don’t have the words for yet.

And the truth is, people do not come to me for a foot massage or a bit of Reiki. They come because they feel the fracture inside and they are tired of holding it alone.

In the treatment room the space becomes somewhere they can finally name it and put it down. A quiet space where they do not have to hold everything together. A space where it feels safe enough to open Pandora’s box without judgement, without being told to rise above it, without having their feelings minimised or dismissed. For many this is the first time in their lives they have been able to speak the truth of what they carried and feel the weight begin to lift from the body.

Healing the mother wound is not about blame. Blame keeps you tied to the very thing you are trying to rise from. No real healing can happen from that place. We are never in control of how another person behaves or grows. Many mothers never developed the tools they needed, and no amount of waiting or hoping changes that truth.

What you can choose is the moment you stop handing your power away. The moment you decide that your own healing matters more than the fantasy of who someone might become. This work begins when you say, I am no longer waiting to be chosen. I am no longer hoping for someone to finally understand. I am not shrinking myself in the hope that someone else will change.

I am the change. I am ready to meet the healed version of me.

Most people read this and think, I want to do that but how. The mother wound feels so tangled and so old that it can be hard to know where to begin. This is where the healing work in my clinic really comes alive. You do not have to work it out alone. The process begins by gently looking at how the wound shows up for you. Every person carries it differently and the healing needs to meet you exactly where you are.

The first step is understanding the patterns. When you lie back and the body begins to speak, we look at the places that tighten, the reflex points that respond and the emotions that rise. This shows us how the wound has lived inside your nervous system and the ways you learned to cope.

The next step is reconnecting with your inner child. Most mother wound patterns were shaped long before you were an adult. Through the work we do together you begin to recognise the younger part of you that learned to stay small, stay quiet or stay responsible for everything. When she finally feels seen, something inside begins to soften.

We then look at the physical symptoms. Anxiety that never settles. The tight chest. The jaw tension. The heavy shoulders. The exhaustion. These are not random. They are the body’s way of carrying unspoken stories. During a session the body is given space to release some of that weight so you no longer have to hold it all yourself.

And from there we rebuild the foundations. Self worth. Safety. Trust in yourself. The quiet belief that your needs matter. These are not abstract ideas. They are practices that grow session by session. You begin to recognise your own boundaries. Your own voice. Your own truth. You start responding to yourself with the compassion you never received.

This is the heart of the work. A guided process that brings you back to yourself one step at a time. A place where the wound is witnessed, held and slowly untangled. A place where you learn a new way of being that does not rely on shrinking, pleasing or hoping someone else will change.

When you begin this work something inside you shifts. It is not dramatic at first. It is more like a softening, a loosening, a moment where your body realises it no longer has to hold everything alone. You start to feel a little clearer, a little steadier, a little more connected to yourself.

Not because everything is fixed in a single session, but because a different story begins to rise inside you. A story where you are safe to have needs. Safe to rest. Safe to speak your truth. Safe to choose yourself.

Healing the mother wound is a journey back to your own centre and your own worth. It happens step by step. Breath by breath. Release by release. And every time you show up for yourself in this process, you are building a life that no longer runs on fear, silence or survival.

If this resonates with you, you are not alone. Nothing about your story is shameful. Nothing about your reactions is wrong. Everything you have carried makes sense. And it can be transformed.

You are allowed to heal. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to become the version of yourself you were always meant to be.